Thursday, October 22, 2009
Golden Words are not Repeated
Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know
When your company stops loving you.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
What is the Secret of SUCCESS... ? "RIGHT DECISIONS"
How do you make Right Decisions... ? "EXPERIENCE"
How do you get Experience.. . ? "WRONG DECISIONS
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
Without your involvement you can't succeed.... With your involvement you can't fail.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
You are not responsible for what people think about you.
But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
STANLEY FERRARD
A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman.
A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man..
CHARLES DICKENS
Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
BILL JACOBS
It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love,
Than to lose the one you LOVE because of EGO.
JOHN KEATS
Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise.
BE happy...!
Zara hasso !!!!!!!!!!!! jokes
A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya ..!
Santa : Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon...
Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai..!
Banta : Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.
AN ASTRONOMER WAS WATCHING THE SKY FROM TELESCOPE. A SARDAR WAS OBSERVING HIM.
SUDDENLY A STAR FALLS. AFTER SEEING THAT SARDAR SAYS "WAH KYA NISHANA HAI".
SARDARJI'S SON : OYE PAPAJI.... BAHAR DARWAJE PAR KOI SWIMING POOL KE LIYE DONATION MANG RAHA HAI....
SARDAR : PUTTAR , USKO EK LOTA PAANI DE DE...
BAAP BETE SE.
"TUMHE KAISI BIWI CHAHIYE?"
BETA: "MUJHE CHAND JAISI BIWI CHAHIYE, JO RAAT KO AAYE AUR SUBHA CHALI JAYE."
IN A SARDARS GARMENT STORE 1 DAY A CUSTOMER COMES IN & SAYS " BHAISAAB! UNDERWEAR DIKHANA ZARA"
SARDAR - "OYE! SORRY YAAR -AAJ PEHNA NAHI.."
SARDAR "YAAR! YE MURGI KE BACHE ANDE TODKAR BAHR KAISE AA JATE HAI?"
2ND SARDAR : "OYE! PEHLE MANU YE BATA YE BAND ANDE ME GHUS KAISE JATE HAI."
SARDAR NE BIWI SEY POOCHA : "AAJ THO CHICKEN BAHUTH TASTY HAI..KUCH KHAS MASALA LAGAYA KYA?"
BIWI : "KUCH NAHI. THODI SI JAL GAYEE THI... ISLIYE BURNOL CREAM LAGAYA...."
Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!
Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai.
Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!
Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?
Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?
Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.
Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...
Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!
Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.
Santa : Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon...
Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai..!
Banta : Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.
Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.
Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'
A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya ..!
Santa : When I get mad at you,you never fight back.How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.
Santa : How does that help?
Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Installing Husband
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Reply:
DEAR Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
